puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
