if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
