well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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