Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
