So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
