I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
