is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize