I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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