i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
