so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
