are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
