I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
