Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
