none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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