Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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