My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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