on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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