There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
