THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
