saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
