i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
