i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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