If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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