Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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