dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
