Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
