I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
