YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
