I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
