Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
