My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I could make wine with my vomit
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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