I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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