can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We had to coat check the pizza.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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