I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Still dying that you shit outside
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
