I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
