I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
