My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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