I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
