She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
