Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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