Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
