So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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