Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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