Midget sex pt 2 tonight
from now on my penis is your penis
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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