Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
