If i come over, it means nothing
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
