Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
