sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
