Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
