It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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