so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
