you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize