Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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