and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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