Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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