so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
