i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Terrible idea I love it
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
